2013 Reflections

It's always good a this time of year to look back over the twelve months that have just passed and remember the things you have achieved, the lessons you've learnt and the things you have experienced both bad and good. Not only does this help you realise all you have done but can teach you lessons and bring about memories you may have missed or remind you of ones you could have forgotten.

 

Some of my proudest achievements are obvious ones such as reaching my health goal, starting this blog and beginning to write my book which has been a dream of mine since I was in primary school. I am also proud of the achievements my family have made over the year, my daughter finally taking her first steps at fourteen months and celebrating her first birthday, my son growing older by the day into a 'big boy' and going to his kindergarten orientation day and my husband and I completing even more of our landscaping.

 

 

The lessons I've learnt this year have taught me a lot about myself as an individual and how I interact with the people around me. My surgery at the beginning of the year taught me to be more patient and not to push myself further than necessary. It also taught me to look to the positives instead of focusing on the pain, although I did struggle with that lesson a lot of the time.

The realisation that in order to be good to my family I need to be good to myself was also important  because if I'm not happy how could I expect them to be?

 

My blog taught me to believe in myself and my abilities which led me to begin writing my book.
The most important lesson I learnt in 2013 was to be honest with myself about why I react a certain way or feel a certain way in different situations. It has really helped me bring things back into perspective when I was confused or frustrated.

 

 

The one thing I've had plenty of this year was experiences both bad and good. Surgery, a funeral, my daughters first steps, our good friends getting married, family holidays, weekends away with friends, my sister announcing her engagement, babies being born and conceived, camping weekends, the beginning of my own little business and our little puppy Roxy joined our family. There were tears and sadness as well as smiles and laughter but all in all I feel that my family and I made the most of what we were dealt.

 

 

With so many things to look forward to in the New Year, more weddings and babies, my sons first year of Kindergarten and a possible holiday in the Northern Territory, 2014 looks as though it will be another fun, exciting, emotional and crazy year.

 

I wish you all a very happy and fulfilling New Year and would like to thank those of you who follow and enjoy my blog. I look forward to posting even more of my adventures, ideas and inspirations in 2014.

Becoming a healthier me!

As a thin child and teenager for most of my life the word diet wasn’t even in my vocabulary I could eat whatever I wanted and however much I wanted of it. Then I hit the age of nineteen/twenty and my body decided seemingly overnight to begin putting on weight. For the first time in my life I had to watch what I ate and exercise to avoid gaining too many kilos and as it was something I wasn’t use to my weight went up and down over the years. Because I’d been a skinny girl for most of my life I felt pressure to remain lean and putting on weight would not only make me feel bad about the way I looked but also made me angry and disappointed in myself and depressed that I found it so hard to lose weight and keep it off. The cycle continued for years; I’d work out and diet which meant I’d lose weight then it didn’t take long once I was at a good weight for me to gain it all back again, sometimes even a few kilos extra.

 

When I got pregnant with my son he was breach and ultimately I had to have an emergency caesarean which meant six months of little to no exercise, then one year later I was pregnant with my daughter who also ended up being an emergency caesarean which of course meant another six months of recovery. During the next twelve months I also had two other surgeries to repair umbilical hernias I’d formed during my pregnancies and the second surgery meant yet another six months of no exercise. After having my two beautiful children and both surgeries my husband and I decided that we weren’t going to have any more babies, for me this meant it was time to get my weight under control in an effort to live a happy healthy life with my kids and be a good role model for them as well.

 

Over the years I tried calorie counting which ended up being too much work, shake diets that although I was hungry a lot of the time worked until I went back to a food diet and diet pills, some of which made me very irritable and grumpy. After my recovery from my operation I still struggled on my own but after visiting a doctor for my ongoing sinus troubles and refusing to have surgery or take anymore drugs I was finally pointed towards the help I needed when he suggested in frustration that I visit a Naturopath.

 

For the past five months, with the help of the Naturopath, I have changed my eating habits dramatically which has meant ditching flour, pasta, rice and potatoes and due to my allergies cow’s milk and some cheeses as well. It also meant avoiding sugar. If you had asked me if I ate a fairly healthy diet before I visited the Naturopath I would have said yes as I didn’t realise I consumed so much of these foods in my day to day life and the effect they were having on my body. The only thing I had already been avoiding was dairy as allergy testing a number of years ago had revealed that dairy products were something that brought on my sinus problems.

 

Talking to the Naturopath revealed to me that for the amount of activity I was doing a day, even if I was doing some exercise most days, I was eating too many carbs compared to the amount I was actually burning. It also made sense to me that our bodies weren’t made to eat and digest the processed foods we have in our pantries today especially the amount of sugar in our day to day foods. Our bodies preferred a ‘caveman’ type diet which consisted mainly of salad, vegetables, nuts, eggs and meat. The Naturopath asked me to cut the high carb foods out of my diet along with sugar and although initially it wasn’t easy, after the first two weeks my “carb and sugar cravings” subsided and I was ready to see food in a new light.

 

For me, eating had become more than just 'fuelling up', getting enough to stay healthy and making it through the day. Food was a way to socialise with friends, lift me up when I wasn’t happy and to break my boredom. Not only did I have to change my diet but I needed to completely change the way I looked at food and assess the relationship I had with it. Before my new eating plan I saw food as something I was entitled too, it was there to eat so why shouldn’t I eat it? Enjoy it? Everyone else eats the same, some people eat worse than me and I need to eat to live. I thought that I enjoyed high carb foods and take away and had a million excuses in my head which kicked in any time I had tried to change my diet in the past. Dieting made me feel as though I was being deprived of food, when in reality I was depriving my body of what it really needed which was enough fuel and nutrients to simply stay healthy.

 

 

By removing those high carb foods and sugar from my diet and increasing my intake of protein not only have I lost weight but I’ve lost the unhealthy visceral fat from around my organs that can potentially contribute to a lot of health problems. Apart from my weight loss other issues I have noticed have disappeared are; cravings (I rarely crave any type of 'bad' food or high carb food), bloating after meals or having a “fat” day and of course my sinus problems have almost disappeared. Before visiting the Naturopath I was taking a sinus tablet almost every day but now it is rare for me to need one and the ones I am taking are all natural.

 

All of these changes made me alter the way I view and consume food and it is a way of living I can’t imagine changing because of how healthy it has made me and how great I feel because of it. Sometimes it is difficult especially when you just want something quick and easy and there aren’t many fast meals that don’t include the foods I’m not supposed to be eating, but it has also forced me to plan ahead, be more adventurous and try new things. The unhealthy foods that I use to consume everyday simply don’t appeal to me anymore. Eating something that has too much sugar in it will give me headaches and high carb foods now make me feel ill and bloated which has helped me decide to leave those foods behind and proves to me they can’t be very good for my body.

 

Over the course of the last five months I have visited the Naturopath regularly so she could ensure I wasn’t having any issues and that I was on the right track and losing weight in a healthy way. She would also weigh me along with measuring my body fat, visceral fat, hydration, muscle and bone mass and keep track of my metabolic age. My first visit was a huge eye opener with a metabolic age of over forty and unhealthy levels of visceral fat but just last week when I had my appointment I finally hit my health goal. My visceral fat was well within the healthy range as was the rest of my measurements. My muscle mass was high which was good for me as it was low for a lot of my weight loss journey and my metabolic age was twenty eight which is my actual age. The sense of achievement was amazing and I feel so proud of myself for getting to this point. The thought of maintaining my health doesn’t scare me at all as I feel comfortable in my new lifestyle.

 

For me the key to weight loss appears to have been viewing food in a different light, to educate myself on what I was actually eating and realising that eating healthy doesn’t have to be complicated. If I can do this anyone can, losing weight isn’t a battle with food ultimately it’s a mind shift.

 

 

Check out this video link on the obesity epidemic and suggestions as to why it is happening:

“Toxic Sugar” Catalyst

 

 

Craft Room Make Over - Motivation Slip

 

Once I pulled out the ‘change/redecorate an area of your house or yard’ motivation slip at the start of November I knew that it had to be my craft room. Since we moved into our house two years ago my craft room has been a mess of hoarded boxes, paper, containers and jars along with the rest of my art things such as paint, paint brushes, beads, scrapbooking accessories, clay and the list goes on. Although I managed to find things it was an unorganised mess that desperately needed some attention especially if I wanted to start doing more craft.

 

 

 

 

First thing I did was get rid of everything that didn’t belong in a craft room, it had become somewhat of a storage area for things that we couldn’t find a home for but a cupboard in our garage fixed that problem. Next problem I had was storage and desk space. Lucky for me a friend of mine was moving and offered me the cupboard she had been using as her pantry and my parents also had a desk at their house they no longer wanted so once I worked out (with the help of my husband) how on earth I was going to fit four desks, a cupboard, a tall book case and my storage drawers in a room that isn’t very big, my craft room was finally starting to take shape.

 

 

After everything had been moved around a few times and I decided I was happy with the new layout I began emptying all of my cupboards and drawers one by one organising its contents so that I knew where everything for each type of craft I did was kept. Looking on the internet for ideas helped but most of their featured craft rooms were designed for a specific craft where I have always enjoyed trying all different types so I had to adapt their ideas to suit my needs. Also, having started a little home business cutting die cuts with my Cricut Expressions machine I set myself up an area so that I could keep all of my orders and creations together complete with cutting station, shelves for creations I have made and an order book and folder of cutting sizes and shapes for different projects.

 

 

After receiving not only the machine from my aunty but also a large collection of scrapbooking papers along with the large pile I had already accumulated myself I had to come up with a way of storing them so they were easily accessible. My solution? Nappy boxes! I’d always hated throwing them away so I used two with the top flaps cut off covered in a nice wrapping paper. One was for the pile of paper and the other for the scraps after they had been used in the die cut machine. I also added another smaller box which was a frozen mixed berries box cut in half, also covered in the same wrapping paper, for the smaller off cuts so that I wouldn’t be wasting too much paper. Under my cutting station I also put an extra bin for paper scraps only so that I can recycle it and make it into paper once again.

 

 

The cupboard I had received from my friend was easily decorated using a vinyl sticker I bought from eBay which now also acts as an artwork in my room. Old play dough containers I had kept became pencil and pen holders that I sat on glass candle holders I had from my wedding almost five years ago. My collection of baby food jars helped organise some beads, scatters and even ribbon and string and I intend to paint their lids different colours and write on them what their contents are. The final piece was a large wall hanging which is a hessian material printed with keys. It was simple to make with two pieces of dowel one each for the top and bottom which I glued on with a hot glue gun. I intend to use it to put photos and inspirational quotes etc. on.

 

 

 

 

There are still a few little things I would like to do to complete my craft room a few extra shelves and a table lamp for starters. But I am happy to now have a workable and organised place to retreat and get creative. It is one of my favourite places to be, and thanks to a baby gate the kids can’t follow me inside.

 

Christmas is in the air!

The best thing about November coming to an end is that it means Christmas is only weeks away and since I was little I’ve always loved Christmas day. Eating copious amounts of food with my family, backyard games and some years we even got to swim in my Aunties pool which is very inviting on a hot Christmas day. Houses covered in pretty lights, leg ham on toast with butter, prawns on ice, roast pork and crackling, unwrapping presents with the whole family are just some of the memories the word Christmas evokes for me.

 

 

As you get older Christmas loses some of its excitement and although it’s great to have a special day with your family the magic disappears a little, that is of course until you have children of your own then the magic and excitement are ignited once again. My son yells with delight his eyes wide with wonder at anything that resembles Christmas, saying “Christmas mum, Christmas!” Because I want it to be as special for my kids as it always was for me, this year my husband and I are putting Christmas lunch on at our house.

 

 

I also love Christmas crafts, and can’t wait to start doing them with my kids. When I put their advent calendar together placing lollies and little chocolate Santa’s in the boxes I also put pictures in some to hint at what Christmas craft we would be making that day. My son is 3 and daughter is 20 months so they aren’t difficult crafts but both kids always enjoy painting and drawing so it will be great for them to get creative. I have already been getting creative myself, getting some of my Christmas crafts completed by the end of November so we could put them up with our tree.

 

 

Using my Cricut Expressions machine I made a ‘Merry Christmas’ banner in red and green and I also made two Christmas chandeliers which are red and green baubles hanging from different heights with fishing line from a metal ring wrapped in gold tinsel. Having always wanted a wreath for the front door I finally bought one this year and I also purchased a wooden letter ‘H’ for our initial. After painting the letter red with gold trimmings and varnishing it I used a hot glue gun to attach it to the front of the wreath. All of the projects I completed were quite simple but they all look very effective when hung up.

 

 

This weekend I am hosting a Card Making party for a group of friends and family at which we will not only get the chance to catch up but also get creative and make some Christmas cards for the people we care about. I’m really looking forward to it and can’t wait to see what everyone makes.

 

 

December will be a fun but also busy month with Christmas parties and plans to go camping along with landscaping so I’m not going to have much free time. Because of this I won’t be pulling out a motivation card for the month but look forward to sharing my Craft Room make over from last month’s motivation sometime this week. Hope you enjoy my Christmas crafts as much as I did making them.

 

 

 

 

Christmas Photos a Family Tradition

Like a lot of mothers I like to take photos of my kids each Christmas to send out with my Christmas cards to close friends and family. To keep this tradition going, at the end of last week I hung a large beige sheet from my dining room window pulled out our Christmas box which is full of decorations, lights and tinsel to create a make shift photo booth. Excited at the sight of all the pretty things both of my children were eager to have their faces cleaned, hair done and get changed into something nice so that they could play with it all. While they played I took lots of photos and said every now and then I would chime in with a ‘cheese’ or ‘wow look at this’ to get their attention. Despite my efforts they weren’t very good at taking directions as Tahlia is 20 months old and Logan is 3 and a half so I found it easier and less stressful just trying to capture them enjoying the new things to play with. This approach did mean that I managed to get quite a few terrible and blurry photos but luckily modern technology allows us to take hundreds of photos and we only need to keep the good ones, and fortunately there were a few that I was really happy with. It also didn’t help that my camera was broken and the next best things I had was my mobile phone. It wasn’t long before they became distracted and began to wander away so I took that as my cue to finish deciding no one wants photos of crying grumpy children for Christmas.

Of course you could save yourself the trouble and have professional photos taken but for me I enjoy knowing that each year I take them myself and it has become one of our family traditions, also I am a tight ass and couldn’t justify to myself spending that much money on photos when Christmas is just around the corner. So, if you can’t afford to pay a photographer for Christmas photos or you are like me and just don’t want to, this is a great way to capture some pictures of them having fun to send away to family and friends in their Christmas cards this year. Let’s face it, family and friends don’t care how professional your photos look, they just like to receive a memento of how much your children have grown in the past year. Especially those who don’t get to see them as often as they would like. So pull out your decorations and a large sheet and see where you imagination and camera can take you!

Here are some photos that I have taken over the years, they aren’t professional but I like that it is one of our family traditions.

 

Birth Stories: Oversharing or Inspiring?

Today I found out that a friend of mine has just given birth to a beautiful baby boy and I also have another friend who is still pregnant and expecting a baby girl. It got me thinking of course about having my kids and being pregnant myself.

When you are pregnant you know the only way you are getting your baby out into this world is by giving birth or via a caesarean section. Neither are very much fun to endure but you know it will all be worth it when your baby finally comes into the world and you are a mother. When you are pregnant it seems as though every mum has a birth story, and not many of them make giving birth sound like very much fun, and you wonder “why on earth are they telling me this? Are they trying to freak me out?” but after two emergency caesareans the second after thirty or so hours of labour I think I now know why people feel they need to tell you what they endured to have their precious baby come into the world.

 

That’s right, although I swore I would never be one of ‘those’ mothers, I am. I do try to tell my story in a way that is less frightening and more encouraging but although it may feel I am doing it that way I’m sure my stories manage to scare the prospective mother just as much as other peoples stories played on my mind when I was pregnant, especially with my first. But I now know that the reason we mothers feel the need to share is because some of us can’t believe we actually endured that and came out the other end ok. Sure I had surgery and had to recover but never could I have imagined going through so much pain and recovering so quickly and of course the immense joy and love I had for my gorgeous new born.

At the time it didn’t seem to process for me what I was actually experiencing or going through, I simply focused on getting through the next contraction and resting when I could then after such a long time I was informed I needed a second caesarean and was happy to trust they would do the best for me and my baby. It wasn’t until afterwards lying in the hospital bed looking through the plastic crib at my beautiful little girl that the realisation of what I had endured hit me and I felt enormous pride that despite not giving birth naturally I had been able to withstand so much and come out the other end a proud mother of a healthy baby girl. I could only imagine how much prouder you would feel after giving birth naturally, but wouldn’t swap the experience for the world as the health of my baby was more important to me than my need to have a natural birth.

Next time a mother tells you her birth story, even if you feel she is giving you way too much information, remember that she is simply proud of herself and trying to relay to you that despite what your baby’s birth may be like, in the end all that is important is that you and the baby are happy and healthy.

 

My beautiful babies Logan & Tahlia
when they were born.

Open Minded or Fence Sitter?

Many people, including myself, like to think of themselves as open minded. Open to different ideas and beliefs and trying to understand things from someone else’s point of view. It is perceived as being less confrontational and allows you to understand people in a way you wouldn’t if you weren’t willing to listen to their views if they are different to yours. It can also lead you to experience new things and learn about why people feel and act the way they do.

My only concern is that as a result of being open to the opinions and views of others in some situations we don’t or won’t fight for a cause even if we really believe in it. Some would argue this is the point of being open minded and not being confrontational, but I do have to think is it just taking the easy way out? So, am I really open minded or am I simply being a Fence Sitter never committing to a cause or picking a side in case I may be wrong or criticized? And am I trying to have the best of both worlds?

The area of my life where this is most apparent to me is when it comes to those who believe to their very core that their religion or spiritual belief is absolute and nothing could shake their commitment. Don’t get me wrong I am happy for people to believe whatever they like as long as it isn’t hurting anybody in the process. It must take great courage and self-belief to know that you have chosen the correct belief system and be proud to have made that decision. There have been times where I have thought it might be easier to just choose a religion and run with it, but the fear of choosing the ‘wrong one’ has always stopped me because I don’t have the conviction most religious followers have. This in turn makes me feel like a fence sitter, letting everyone have their ideas and beliefs but never having the courage to fully embrace one for myself; all the while calling myself open minded. I also question if you could truly be open to others if you believe they are making the wrong religious or spiritual decisions?

I feel that it is a fine line between trying to be open and see things through other people’s eyes and not taking a stance on anything or making a decision. Looking at different aspects of my life I could probably be both of these at different times and in different situations. But despite my concerns and thoughts I do believe trying to genuinely be open to other people’s experiences and ideas is a good way to be and that it helps us to be more compassionate and caring towards others whether we know them or not. It also means we don’t condemn those who have a different view from our own. Maybe you can be open minded while still having your own opinion, but instead of trying to convince people yours is the correct one, be open to the fact that they may have their own truth.

 

Curing Boredom

Because the kids and I had been sick for almost two weeks with a flu that well and truly overstayed its welcome I was stir crazy from being at home 24 hours a day 7 days a week. So this weekend I made an effort to get out of the house and to get the kids out and about as well. Upset I had fallen back into my old pattern of being a hermit I feel like I definitely turned it back around.

 

On Saturday a friend of mine invited me to go to the local racecourse for the Cox Plate with her and some of her friends so despite not having the motivation to put in the effort to do my hair, makeup and find something nice to wear I convinced myself it would be good for me to get out and socialise. Lucky for me she had a very nice dress that I could wear as all of mine were quite old and didn’t really fit me. So we got ready together at her place then headed to the racecourse.

 

Me, Jacqui & Sam at the races

It was a pretty hot when you couldn’t find shade but that didn’t stop it from being an enjoyable afternoon. I hung out with new people and caught up with some friends and it was nice to get dressed up and feel girly for the afternoon, not the daggy mum I am at home. When the races were over I met my husband who had gotten the kids ready on his own at the local Tavern. I admit that I was afraid of what they would be wearing as he has a habit of dressing them in the daggiest of clothes but he had done a great job, they looked very cute, and he proved that he is quite capable of getting them ready on his own. It was a dinner to celebrate my sisters’ recent engagement and was nice for us to get out as a family and the kids loved the attention they got from everyone.    

 

My sons GIANT fairy floss

On Sunday a friend and her son invited us to go to our local markets for the morning and again we jumped at the opportunity to get out of the house. The kids had a great time eating giant fairy floss and riding the little trains. As much fun as I had at the races nothing beats seeing the smile on your kids’ faces and spending time with them, my son was so proud that he had gone on the train without an adult, “I big boy, I not scared!” he boasted when he got off. Then after weeks of feeling desperate to leave the house we all enjoyed just being home for the remainder of the day.

 

This weekend proved to me that if you feel as though you are stuck in a rut and have gotten bored with day to day life it doesn’t take much to get yourself and the kids out of the house and having a good time again. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune it can just be a walk down to your local park, but when the kids and I do get out it we are definitely a lot happier than when we spend too much time at home.

Do you say SORRY?

Do you say ‘Sorry’ when you’ve upset someone or made a mistake or are you quick to defend yourself no matter how big or small that mistake was? In todays world it seems to be ingrained in us that you don’t say sorry, you don’t admit when something is your fault because it may come with consequences and that it is best to cover your ass than admit you were at fault. But it seems we have become so good at not admitting something was our fault and having endless excuses that it has boiled over into some of our personal lives and instead of simply saying sorry and apologising when we hurt someone’s feelings or make a mistake we defend ourselves despite knowing we are wrong even if it means making the situation worse.

This is something I have noticed in some of the people around me lately and although I am guilty of it myself, I am now aware of it and when an incident occurs that is my fault I try to admit it and the situation generally diffuses quickly. Sometimes an honest sorry is all it takes to end an argument or prevent one from even starting. There is nothing more frustrating than someone trying to convince you something wasn’t their fault when you know very well that it was, especially when it is something simple and you can’t understand why it is so important to them not to be wrong?

An example of this is asking someone to complete a simple task such as loading the dishwasher and after you ask they get distracted and it doesn’t get done. If when you asked them why they hadn’t done it they simply said “sorry I got distracted, I’ll do it now” you would generally be fine with it, but if the answer is an excuse in a snappy voice as though you have offended them in some way it can cause an argument which started with something so simple and could have been avoided with one little word ‘Sorry’.

Next time you make a mistake or do something wrong and start to defend what you’ve done ask yourself “is this really worth making a big deal out of or would a simple apology admitting my mistake make this situation disappear?” I think honest Sorry’s would stop a lot of arguments from escalating or even starting in the first place and if you are happy to admit when you are in the wrong people around you tend to notice and start being more honest about their mistakes with you.

It may seem like a simple word but Sorry means feeling regret and sympathy which is why when it is used honestly it can make such a big difference.

Girls Night In

For the last four years I have been hosting an annual Girls Night In to raise money for the Cancer Council to help in the fight against breast and gynaecological cancers. During these years I have lost two family members to different cancers and have also had other family members and friends affected by this terrible and unbiased illness. So, every year I invite my girlfriends and their girlfriends to join me in raising money and to just have a girly night in.

As always, it’s hard to find a night that suits everyone. Between work, previous commitments and some people being away I only managed to get a small group together this year. To make things a bit harder I had also been suffering from a flu all of the week leading up to the night. Because of this I decided not to worry about all of the decorations, food and games and just had a simple get together over a few wines and I asked the girls who could make it to not only bring their donation but to also bring a plate of food.

It was a night full of laughs, funny stories and also some yummy food. We had a salsa & guacamole dip, kabana & cheese plate, asparagus & prosciutto wrapped in pastry, meatballs and I made some broccoli & parmesan balls. It was nice to just relax and be myself without having to worry about trying to entertain anyone. It was also funny how a conversation can change so many times over a few hours and great how a group of people who don’t know each other very well can get along so well.

But most importantly I was lucky enough to have my sister help me raise money by taking donations at her workplace and together we raised nearly $250.00 which I am very happy about. Apart from being a great excuse to catch up with your girlfriends, having a Girls Night In to raise money for such an important cause makes it well worth the effort every year. I would definitely recommend hosting a Girls Night In, it can be as big or small as you want and you can put in as much or as little effort as you like. If you are interested you can register at: http://www.pinkribbonday.com.au/host-your-own-girls-night

 

Thank you again to those who donated money and to the girls who turned up and made the night so enjoyable.

 

 

30 Year Anniversary

CONGRATULATIONS to my Mum and Dad on celebrating their 30^th wedding anniversary today. That’s thirty years of memories and milestones, two daughters who love them both very much and two grandchildren who think the world of them. My sister and I decided to help them celebrate by putting on a morning tea and inviting close friends and family to join us over the weekend. 

I was lucky to have my Aunty visiting who knows how to make and ice cakes so she gave me a lesson in cake icing and together we created and put together mum and dads anniversary cake. I'm so happy with how it turned out and everyone seemed to enjoy eating it.

My sister and I made the decorations for the table ourselves. We made a 3D Gold number 30 which turned out to be a bit more difficult than we thought it would be but it looked good on the table. I also printed out photos of my parents over the years and hung them up on some string with little white pegs. Using a Print Shop program I created a page of words that described some of their milestones and places they've been over the last 30 years.

We also purchased a tier assembly kit from ebay and bought some cheap plates which my husband drilled holes in the middle of and he also put it all together for us. It looked great on the table with little muffins on it. We also had pumpkin scones and pizza scrolls that my sister made and also a cheese platter and of course the cake.

My parents do so much for my sister and I, especially me with my kids. It was a nice morning and great to catch up with some people I hadn't seen for a while.

Now my parents are off on a road trip from Queensland to Melbourne for a well earned holiday, so I wish them safe travel and know they will create even more memories for their next anniversary milestone. 

Cake Creations

Although I am far from a cake decorating expert, I have made a number of them for friends and family for birthdays and other occasions over the last few years and thought I might share some of them with you. I still need to work on my icing technique, but was happy with how these turned out.

One of my first attempts at making a 'special' cake was for my sisters’ birthday a few years ago when she had a sports themed birthday. To go with the theme I made her a cake that looked like a pair of sandshoes.  I found the idea in a book from the library and personalised it from there.

 

 

For my Best Friends birthday I made this simple cake with a bow and gift tag on it. I simply cut out the strips of the bow and used rolled paper to hold its shape until the icing went hard. And the swirls were wrapped around wooden spoon handles.

 

I surprised my husband for his birthday one year with the below fishing cake. The boat isn’t great because I didn’t give myself a lot of time to make it but he was happy with it. The rocks were chocolate stones I bought so everything was edible except for the fishing pole which was made from a bamboo skewer and string.

 

Probably the most time consuming decorations I’ve ever made for a cake were for my sons first birthday under the sea cake. I died the icing myself and created different creatures to put around it including a turtle, crab, octopus, starfish, clam, seahorse and various shells, seaweed and coral. I was happy with the result but probably won’t attempt so many little elements again. The sand is just brown sugar that I fluffed up and separated with a fork.

This next cake ended up being a lot of icing but that didn’t stop everyone from eating it as it was the first time I ran out of cake for everyone. I made the airplane solely from icing and used marshmallows to prop the wings up so they didn’t break off. Then I used white Icing for the clouds under the plane and marshmallows cut in half to decorate around the bottom of the cake, which also hid my not so great cake icing skills.

 

For my mother in laws 50^th I offered to make a cake for her and because she loves trees and gardening I knew I had to incorporate that into a cake somehow. I bought the flowers from the supermarket but made the leaves from icing. I rolled the green and blue base icing together for the background and piped the tree using chocolate icing. This is one of my favourite cakes I’ve made, because although it was fairly simple I think it looked great when I was done.

 

Frogs have been something I’ve modelled from clay since I was in primary school. I learnt how to make them at a clay sculpting class one school holidays and have enjoyed making them since. So it was only natural that I would attempt to make one from icing. I will admit it was a bit of a nightmare, I used a Twix chocolate for the log and it and my frog kept wanting to slide off the cake so I slowly had to glue it back together each time with more icing. Also, as you can see my writing could use some work but despite this my Nan who loves frogs was in hospital for Mother’s day so my family and I surprised her with this cake!

The last cake is a rainbow butterfly that I made for my daughters first birthday. I made two separate cakes and cut out the shapes of the wings then covered the individual wings with white icing. I then rolled different coloured icing to outline the wings markings and filled them with coloured sprinkles. It was another relatively simple cake that turned out just how I’d imagined. 

I can’t say I enjoy making cakes enough to make them all of the time but I definitely enjoyed making these for some of the people I care about. It feels good to spend time making something that everyone enjoys and makes people smile.

 

Friendly Inspiration

Today I was thinking about my friendships and how different but sometimes alike my friends can be. I can count my good ones on one hand but it was the first time I sat down and really thought about why they are my friends. They all have different qualities that make me proud to call them my friends and inspire me to be a better person, so I’m writing this as a thank you to them as they motivate me to be a better version of myself and have helped me realise that I can overcome almost anything that comes my way.

Letting Go Of Your ‘Story’

One friend of mine has faced a lot of trials in her life. For somebody to have seen and dealt with the things she has had to in her life you would expect or even understand if she used them as excuses when things aren’t working out, but she doesn’t. She has accepted the cards she was dealt and doesn’t appear to hold any grudges. In turn it has made her a strong and independent woman who isn’t afraid to stick up for herself and the people she cares about. She is also happy to tell you the honest truth, which is something I really appreciate. So many people in the world would be a lot happier today if they could let go of their life “story” and just live today for what it is.

Self Motivation

Having battled with my weight for a while now another friend of mine is an inspiration as she found a way to be self-motivated and lose the weight she wanted to. She looks amazing and most importantly is healthier for it, and I admire that she has made it a lifestyle change not just a fad diet. If I could bottle some of her motivation I would be a lot fitter for it, you wouldn’t see me heading to a workout at 4:30 in the morning or even awake at that time for that matter. She is also a working mum and I think it is great how she can juggle her job, son and her home life.

Sacrifice & Honesty

Although some might say she is a bit too honest, a friend of mine encourages me to be a more open person and not worry about what people think. Because she is so truthful she has me laughing a lot of the time at the random things she says, and it is refreshing to know there are still people out there who don’t have walls up. She has also sacrificed a lot to be where she is today, things that many people couldn’t have given up. But she did it all for a happier life with her children and husband. She is also a working mum. She tries to see the good in everybody, even if it isn’t really there sometimes. Because of her I’m able to write my blog and be honest about who I am and am trying to be. 

Being Grateful

A few of my friends are inspirational to me because they are single mums or have husbands that work away a lot of the time. They don’t have a husband who comes home of an afternoon to help feed & bathe their kids, and talk to about their day, they have to do most of it on their own and don’t get the daily assistance that I do. They are great mums and make me feel grateful for my husband’s help when he is home.

 

Passion & Compassion

There are many of us, myself included, that take our lives, rights and planet for granted. We assume we will always have the animals that inhabit this planet, along with our necessities like food and clean drinking water. Lucky for us there are people out there who don’t live such sheltered lives and are out their fighting for people rights and the conservation of animals and our planet. I’m fortunate to have friends who are passionate about their cause and through them I have become more aware of what is happening in the world around me. Because of that awareness I make a conscious effort to do something to play my part. It may only be a small donation, or posting something on Facebook to make others aware there is an issue but every little thing counts. I could definitely be doing a lot more, and I think it’s great that people give up their own time to shed light on such important issues. Their passion and compassion for people and animals makes me proud of them and I know I need to do a lot more than I am.

Being Less Emotional

This is a big one for me, and probably a lot of people can relate as it is so easy to get lost and carried away with emotion and blow something small completely out of proportion. Although when I’m in that state it drives me nuts, my husband is calm and doesn’t let his emotions take control. He is completely content with his life and us as his family. I spent a long time telling him he needs to be more emotional until one day I realised it was the other way around, it was me who needed to be less emotional and see things for what they really are.

All of my friends also inspire me to want more out of life, travel and be the best I can be. These are just some of the wonderful traits of some of my friends, and although there have been times when we’ve had our differences I will always remember these inspiring aspects of who they are. I just hope that in some small way I inspire them just as much as they do me.

A Smile Is Contagious

A fan of reality TV I was watching Big Brother recently when I noticed a popular theme in the house appeared to be being a ‘positive’ person.  It got me thinking about the amount of people that say they are positive these days. So many people are trying to be positive, but are they really happy or is it all an act?

I’m one of the people trying to be more positive or as I call it ‘the best version of myself’. For me being a positive person isn’t about being happy all of the time or telling myself that I am a better person than someone who doesn’t see the world in the same way as me. Being a positive person is realising situations I am in are in part or sometimes in full, my own fault due to choices I have made. Then after recognising this I make the decision to accept that moment or situation for what it is, followed by a plan of action to make any changes I feel need to be made to better the situation. Being positive is also being aware that people perceive conversations or circumstances in different ways, depending on past issues they may have had and their current mood. Also, it is knowing that not everyone has to react in the same way I do.

A big part of being positive for me is having compassion for others, even people I don’t know. There was a time when I was so caught up in my own world that I didn’t see how I was affecting the people around me or that they might be having a hard time themselves. I don’t believe it is necessarily about trying to find good in everything that happens to you, but about accepting it has happened and that negative reactions won’t make the situation any easier or better, sometimes they even make it feel worse. I try to walk in other people’s shoes and see things from their points of view, keeping in mind I don’t know their life story and therefore can’t tell them how they should be feeling in any particular situation. No one is better than anyone else; we all have different dreams and aspirations.

Being positive all of the time might not even be possible as my emotions and past experiences always tend to affect how I react to certain things. Many times I have found myself going completely silent mid rant and apologising, realising I was completely overreacting and perceiving the situation the wrong way or in a negative light. It does make me sound a bit crazy at the time, but I think the more I catch myself out being irrational and over emotional, the easier it will be to stay calm and rational the next time a situation arises that might make me feel that way. Also, I believe that making a conscious effort to keep an open mind can only lead to good things and a happier peaceful state of mind.

It’s been said that a smile is contagious and I also think that people who are genuinely positive are too. When I was younger I didn’t have the confidence to smile at a stranger, but in the last year or so I’ve made a conscious effort to smile at people a lot more, and when you can smile at strangers and get a friendly smile back it makes your day feel all the better for it. You can tell you’ve been around a positive person when you walk away feeling happy, even empowered and the conversation didn’t take anything away from you.

Sitting back and making a conscious effort to see the world around me in a more calm and peaceful or positive mindset makes me feel so much better than when I react with anger or fear. No, I’m not perfect! I still get upset and frustrated even angry sometimes, but just by being aware of myself, and remembering how much better it feels to be cool, calm and collected, I don’t stay in that frame of mind for very long at all. Any conflicts I have disappear quickly and I can move on with my life without any resentment.

I’m not saying that you need to smile at every person you see and don’t ignore your feelings and pretend to be happy all of the time, just realise that you decide how you feel about any given situation and be aware of your reaction and how it makes you feel.

Depression

There is so much pressure on the individual to conform, be a certain way and live a certain way, is it any wonder that so many people experience depression at some stage during their life? Everyone wants to fit in and be accepted, but what is fitting in exactly? Buying a big house, being thin and beautiful, owning “things” that are perceived to add to who we truly are. Only problem is we are all so different, it is obvious by just looking at one another, yet so many of us try despite this. Then, when you feel like you haven’t achieved these goals or self-doubt creeps in you can find yourself in the deep dark hole of depression.

Anyone who has experienced depression at any level knows how helpless and worthless it makes you feel. That then slowly changes your perception of reality and it isn’t long till you see the negative in everything around you to the point where you alienate yourself until you feel completely alone in your worthless world of self-loathing. Why would anyone like me? I’m worthless, nothing! These negative thoughts slowly consume you to the point where some people can’t take it anymore and feel that the only escape is to end their life. Others get to a point where they have enough of feeling this way and start the steep ascent back up towards the light. It’s not an easy climb and there are a lot of slips and stumbles on the way up, but eventually the light glows brighter and brighter bringing a new, more positive perception of yourself and the world and people around you.

This is how it felt for me as a teenager and into my early twenties. I never reached a point where I thought I could take my own life, but couldn’t imagine how that must feel after experiencing the lows I have faced. It’s hard to understand the feeling if you haven’t been there yourself, and even harder to be compassionate and patient. But I’m hoping shedding a little light on the subject may give someone who is either experiencing some sort of depression or knows someone who is, hope and encourages them to start that climb back to a more positive life.

To be completely honest, I could never put my finger on a single moment or situation that started my depression. I don’t think I even realised I was depressed until I started turning my life around. The little voice in my head was ever present, and not realising at the time that I controlled it, it didn’t control me, I listened to every hurtful, painful thing it would say to me. Sometimes the voice was so loud I couldn’t focus on or think about anything else. This made me feel frustrated, then angry and it would get so unbearable that I would do something that defied common sense. I would use a razor to cut myself. This in turn would make me feel even worse about myself and once my “sane” mind came back and I realised how senseless I had been it would begin the spiral of self-hatred again.

I would wear jumpers in summer to hide the cuts on my arms and one day even passed out on my way home from school because it was so hot. To make things worse someone who I saw as a good friend of mine noticed one day and told our friends I was an attention seeker who pretended to try to kill myself. This just made me recede deeper into my depression and put up a high, thick brick wall to keep everyone out. My internal nightmare wasn’t noticed by people around me in the most part, as I had become very good at pretending to be the happy, go lucky, party girl who just wanted to have fun. After the embarrassment of people finding out about my cutting I did it a lot less but for years after, even up until a few years ago, whenever I got over emotional or angry the urge was there.

I couldn’t tell you what made me start? Where the idea came from? And it’s hard to explain why it was a release for me at the time. It was as though instead of being addicted to alcohol or drugs I had been addicted to cutting myself, as it gave me a feeling of release I wasn’t able to find in a healthier way at the time.

As the years progressed I realised that the answer wasn’t finding some kind of release for my depression and anger, it was finding a way to dissolve those feeling all together. Slowly I realised that the negative world that weighed me down was a story I had made up in my own head. You wonder why you would stay in such a horrible state of mind but just coming to that realisation started my steep climb back out of the dark hole that is depression. Getting to the top doesn’t mean those feelings are completely gone, and it’s easy to fall back into old patterns but being aware of myself and my emotions makes it easier to detect these feelings before they get out of hand and control me instead of me controlling them.

This story is one that I have only told my closest family and friends up until now, and I know actually posting this will be difficult as it is always hard to admit and face that you effectively put yourself through such hard times and did things you wouldn’t rationally do. I still have scars on my arms and legs that serve as a reminder not of how low I had been but that I got the courage to overcome my depression and anger and become a better version of me. That’s why I’m sharing this story; you can’t fully change and grow from things you don’t acknowledge and accept happened. And you can’t be your true self if you are trying to hide parts of your past. If you think a friend is struggling reach out, let them know you are there to talk to. You may think they haven’t listened and it won’t make a difference, but that little positive seed could be enough to awaken some sort of change in their thinking and maybe they won’t feel so alone anymore.

Who is ready to get out of their comfort zone? I Am!

I’m ready to try new things not only to get myself out of my comfort zone but to get out of the house more, with and without my family. At the moment the most exciting thing I seem to do is take the kids to swimming lessons for half an hour one day a week.

My resolution? A “motivation” box.

No, it’s not a box full of quotes and sayings that make you smile and then you go and sit back down on the couch or continue folding the washing, it’s a box full of ideas and inspiration to get me doing things I haven’t done before or need to do more of. During the first week of each month I will draw one idea out and give myself the remainder of that month to do what it says.

My motivation slip for last month would have said “start a blog” because putting my ideas and creations out there for anyone to see is definitely something I’m not completely comfortable with. But like many other things that made me uncomfortable in my life I’m guessing the more I do it the easier it will be. My first job as a receptionist I wouldn’t answer the phone for the first week or so because I was scared and wasn’t confident enough to do it, but after a serious word from my manager one phone call at a time it got easier and it wasn’t long until it was second nature. Every job I’ve had since has included answering the phone and I don’t even think twice about it anymore.  

This is my theory behind the motivation box, the more I push myself to do things now the easier it will be in the future.

So, during the first week of each month for the next six months or so I will pull a piece of paper out of the box and it will tell me what I have to do that month to get myself out of my comfort zone and out of this house. There isn’t anything too crazy in there as I am a beginner and also don’t have enough funds to do anything too crazy, but with the help of google I’ve come up with some cheap and achievable ideas.

Feel free to join me if you feel that getting out of your comfort zone is something you need to do yourself.

If you like you can join my facebook page: Elle-Jay Creations and share your experiences with me and the rest of my facebook friends.

Being the second of the month I have decided to pull out my very first Motivation slip today and it says… “Put on a bbq for your friends”. Simple? Yes! But being social is definitely something my husband and I both need a bit more of in our lives. Looking forward to it.

One visit changed my life...

Those who suffer from sinusitis understand how bad the pressure and pain can be when you have it, your nose gets stuffy, your eyes burn, and you get headaches and find it difficult to concentrate properly. After suffering from sinus for years and believing it was something I just had to live with, a visit to my doctor for what seemed like the hundredth time finally led me to some answers. Frustrated with my stubbornness and unwillingness to continue taking sinus medication or have surgery the doctor reluctantly suggested I visit a Naturopath. Although I thought I would give it a go I had no idea how much a visit was going to change my life.

Both nervous and excited I arrived at my first Naturopath appointment, however she was so relatable and easy going that I felt at ease as soon as I stepped into the consultation room. Not only was my sinus an issue but I was also in a very bad sleeping routine which consisted of going to bed very late and not getting enough quality sleep due to vivid dreams and being a very light sleeper throughout the night.

Through my teens and early to mid twenties I would have vivid nightmares. This led to a terrible sleep routine as I would stay up until I was dead tired. Being so tired when I finally went to sleep usually meant I wouldn’t have nightmares, but it also meant I wasn’t getting enough sleep to repair and revitalise my body and mind. The Naturopath was confident that if I was to stick to a healthy eating plan and take some herbal concoctions with some time I would be free of both of these issues with the added benefit of losing weight that I had found hard to lose.

The eating plan meant I wasn’t to eat high carb foods or flour and I was to avoid dairy which was a known cause for my sinus as I’d had allergy testing done a few years earlier. Within a week and a half my sinus had gone from a heavy weight sitting in behind my eyes and nose giving me headaches and a “foggy” brain, to just a hint of the feeling I’d tolerated for such a long time. Also, my extra weight easily began to fall off. It wasn’t always easy in the beginning; it took a few days to overcome what I called my “Carb Cravings” where all I wanted to eat was a burger or even a piece of toast. And sometimes I would get frustrated that I had to prepare most meals instead of eating "quick" or "easy" foods. However I now feel so much better in myself that I am not interested in the foods I’m not supposed to have (most of the time). Anytime I’ve dared to try some “bad” food, I felt terrible afterwards with sinus and an upset stomach which helps with not including those foods in my diet anymore.

I’ve been on this eating plan for almost 9 weeks now and as well as not having to take sinus medication the entire time; I have managed to lose 6kg with some but not excessive exercise. With some herbal help I am sleeping through the night; dream free and for around 8 hours a night. I couldn’t have imagined a visit to a Naturopath could change so much for me, but it really has been life changing. I feel healthier, lighter and fitter and haven't had to take sinus medication which I was taking almost everyday. I have also started to feel more motivated and energetic which can only lead to more great things. I’m not saying that a Naturopath can fix everyone and is right for everybody but it helped me to lead a healthier happier life.

Journey to Self-Discovery & Happiness: Part 2

One particular book that drove me to start a big transformation in the way I viewed myself, the world and the people around me was Eckhart Tolle’s – A New Earth. Reading it I found myself agreeing with so much it said. It made me realise that I needed to reflect on the past to not make the same mistakes I had made before, but not to relive and dwell on it. The only time I ever truly had was “Now” this moment.

Facing who I really was and why so many things had happened to me in my life was also a step in the right direction. Realising that a lot of the bad feelings I had experienced and situations I’d been in were in most part my own fault wasn’t easy, it was hard to believe I would put myself through so much heartache and pain. But my negative perception on certain situations and my ability to convince myself that I was a victim and everyone was out to get me was all an illusion I had created in my own mind, and elevated to a point where I destroyed and pushed away a lot of important relationships and people in my life. This realisation was a massive stepping stone in the right direction; it changed my outlook on life completely and had me looking at people and my environment in a completely different light.

My negative side had taken control so often in my life and I now made it my mission to recognise it and put it away when it appeared. Another realisation I had was that everyone has experienced many different situations, emotions, past heartaches and mishaps, upbringings, cultures and the list goes on. To me this meant people are just trying to get by with what they know just like I had been for so many years.

Another idea that has helped me is by realising that most people want the same things out of life, love – either from a partner, friend or family which also includes acceptance, and happiness. Sometimes it is easy to feel like someone is going the wrong way about finding these two things but who am I to tell them how their journey should be? Have I not made and still make mistakes in my own life. I now try to be honest but not judgemental. Now tattooed on my wrist is a heart with the word happiness through the middle of it to remind me, as it is very easy to fall back into old habits and judge others without knowing their whole story.

Happiness appears to be the meaning of life for a lot of people but it’s not as easy as simply acting as though you are happy all of the time. Bad habits die hard and it is easy to begin slipping back into my old ways, but when I can push the negative thoughts away I am definitely a happier and better person for it. My journey of self-discovery isn’t over, who knows what the future holds; but with a more positive outlook on life things don’t seem as scary or hard anymore. My hope is that in reading this, you realise finding happiness doesn’t have to come from a big life changing event or situation, all it takes is to really want it, and not be afraid to find it and face who you really are.

My original tattoo

My journey to Self-Discovery & Happiness: Part One

It seemed everywhere I turned there were books, movies, websites and documentaries talking about finding your true self and happiness. Some suggested solitude was the answer, others relinquishing all possessions, some said travelling the world and others recommended finding it through religion or spirituality. Everyone is different and I believed one or more of these could definitely help people in the pursuit of happiness, but what about the people who have children and a husband to take into consideration? A lot of the suggestions and ideas I’d discovered sounded somewhat selfish to me as a parent. I mean it would’ve been great to take a trip around the world by myself with only the clothes on my back but then who would’ve raised my two young children while I was away? My husband needed to work to feed, clothe and educate them and I didn’t expect our families to raise the children my husband and I chose to have. This meant I had to find myself and happiness in a less dramatic way.

 To be honest I think most of our self-discovery begins long before we realise or want it too. High school was definitely a character building environment where broad shoulders were needed to take the weight of the expectations from teachers and parents, the peer pressure from classmates to be “cool” and fit in and of course to push through the self-doubt and in my case depression that came with it. Though at the time I’d felt as though I was in a long dark tunnel with no end in sight, I somehow managed to find a way out of the other side and in time it made me a stronger more confident person. If it weren’t for the trials and tribulations of my teenage years and my early twenties,  I’m not sure if I would have reached the point where I’m more confident with who I am and know that I can handle almost anything that gets thrown my way. I am also lucky to have the support of my family, friends and most importantly my husband to help me through any future or current problems I might face.

Marriage was a huge deal for me, not only had I never entertained the idea of being a “wife” but I had gotten myself through so much of my own drama that I felt that I was too independent to be in a long term relationship. But my husband Tim came along and made me realise that having someone to lean on and help wasn’t a weakness, it was added strength. Least to say my views changed and now I have been, for the most part, happily married for four and a half years. Not long after we were married it was as though a hidden switch flicked on inside of me and the desire to have a baby arose, another thing I had never really thought about; being a mother.

After the birth of my first child Logan although a first time mum, being away from work and on my own through most of the day meant my mind wandered towards some of the big questions I’d never entertained before. “Can I still be the person I was before? Who am I?” A good friend of mine suggested a few books I might be interested in and then my conscious self-discovery journey began.

 

To be continued….