Monday, 16 September 2013

A Smile Is Contagious

A fan of reality TV I was watching Big Brother recently when I noticed a popular theme in the house appeared to be being a ‘positive’ person.  It got me thinking about the amount of people that say they are positive these days. So many people are trying to be positive, but are they really happy or is it all an act?

I’m one of the people trying to be more positive or as I call it ‘the best version of myself’. For me being a positive person isn’t about being happy all of the time or telling myself that I am a better person than someone who doesn’t see the world in the same way as me. Being a positive person is realising situations I am in are in part or sometimes in full, my own fault due to choices I have made. Then after recognising this I make the decision to accept that moment or situation for what it is, followed by a plan of action to make any changes I feel need to be made to better the situation. Being positive is also being aware that people perceive conversations or circumstances in different ways, depending on past issues they may have had and their current mood. Also, it is knowing that not everyone has to react in the same way I do.

A big part of being positive for me is having compassion for others, even people I don’t know. There was a time when I was so caught up in my own world that I didn’t see how I was affecting the people around me or that they might be having a hard time themselves. I don’t believe it is necessarily about trying to find good in everything that happens to you, but about accepting it has happened and that negative reactions won’t make the situation any easier or better, sometimes they even make it feel worse. I try to walk in other people’s shoes and see things from their points of view, keeping in mind I don’t know their life story and therefore can’t tell them how they should be feeling in any particular situation. No one is better than anyone else; we all have different dreams and aspirations.

Being positive all of the time might not even be possible as my emotions and past experiences always tend to affect how I react to certain things. Many times I have found myself going completely silent mid rant and apologising, realising I was completely overreacting and perceiving the situation the wrong way or in a negative light. It does make me sound a bit crazy at the time, but I think the more I catch myself out being irrational and over emotional, the easier it will be to stay calm and rational the next time a situation arises that might make me feel that way. Also, I believe that making a conscious effort to keep an open mind can only lead to good things and a happier peaceful state of mind.

It’s been said that a smile is contagious and I also think that people who are genuinely positive are too. When I was younger I didn’t have the confidence to smile at a stranger, but in the last year or so I’ve made a conscious effort to smile at people a lot more, and when you can smile at strangers and get a friendly smile back it makes your day feel all the better for it. You can tell you’ve been around a positive person when you walk away feeling happy, even empowered and the conversation didn’t take anything away from you.

Sitting back and making a conscious effort to see the world around me in a more calm and peaceful or positive mindset makes me feel so much better than when I react with anger or fear. No, I’m not perfect! I still get upset and frustrated even angry sometimes, but just by being aware of myself, and remembering how much better it feels to be cool, calm and collected, I don’t stay in that frame of mind for very long at all. Any conflicts I have disappear quickly and I can move on with my life without any resentment.

I’m not saying that you need to smile at every person you see and don’t ignore your feelings and pretend to be happy all of the time, just realise that you decide how you feel about any given situation and be aware of your reaction and how it makes you feel.

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